Polyamory, Monogamy and the Evolution of Love

There’s a deliberation going on in the sex-positive community, and sadly, it underscores just how much work needs to be done to advance the concept of sexual freedom. I’m speaking of polyamory vs. monogamy and the question of whether one form of sexualove relating is more ‘advanced’ than another.  Continue reading

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Goddess Archetypes | Virgin, Witch, Saint, Martyr



Look around and note a quiet and compelling cultural shift. In real time and in conjunction with the apparent demise of societal, political, organizational and communal structures, a quiet revolution is taking place; the resurrection of the divine Goddess, as witnessed behind the scenes and softly hued corners. She’s not seeking the limelight or acknowledgment per se, although she’s easily recognizable by her patina of pleasure and power.

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Sleeping with Purveyors of Sweet Nothings and Toxic Crap

My passion for eco-sex grows as my research into greening our personal lives delves deeper into the slew of toxins many of us are sleeping in. Most recently, I invested into  new mattresses of the organic latex variety, and though the pocket book is screaming ouch – and I know it’s a price point luxury out of reach of many folks these days – with all the time we spend in bed, it behooves us to make sure our intimate spaces are comfortable as well as safe. If you can’t replace your mattress just yet, please consider your pillows – those purveyors of sweet nothings murmured in our ears – which can do more than cradle and support heads and necks. They could be making you ill. Continue reading

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Ecosex | Politics, Going Green and Global Peace

The emerging field of ecosexuality takes cues from many viewpoints and philosophies. There are the practical aspects, like using eco-friendly lubrication, or eating the right sort of foods. Equally important to the fundamentals of ecosexuality is the idea of consciousness; that every choice we make has an impact on the planet and ourselves. In order for humanity to birth itself to the next level of awareness, we must visualize a future that is compatible with the values of love and peace, sexual healing and freedom, and global planetary stewardship. Continue reading

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Purity Myth and Other Sexual Deceptions

sex, sexuality, virginity, religion, spirituality, purity myth, sexis magazineI still recall the first time I realized that the notions of virginity with which I’d grown up were a whole lotta bull, packaged prettily in pink and spoon fed via messages of false altruism, religion and fear. It would be nice to say this discovery took place early in my sexual awakening, but it did not. I was thirty-seven years old when the following conversation took place and the baggage I’d packed on the topic was finally tossed out the window of useless philosophies. Continue reading

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What’s Up with Women Faking Sounds of Pleasure?

orgasm, women, fake, sex, pleasure, lying, men, satisfaction, Twelve-year-old boys are wearing shirts that say, Sexual Lessons, First One Free, and, here’s the creepy part, they actually believe it.

When I read a recent blog on the sounds of pleasure by Nicole Daedone, founder of OneTaste.com, I had two immediate questions: Are that many women really putting on moan shows when they are having sex, and if so, why? Continue reading

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Spiritual Sexual Pariahs

spirituality, sexuality, men, man, women, woman, life, tantra, sacred, love“You are so lovely, and I’m a lonely, horny person who wants to have cyber-relations with you and we share at least 2 mutual friends, but since they don’t know me either, there’s no way for you to verify that I’m not a current, past or future psychopath.”

When you write in certain circles, you end up rubbing elbows with those who dive deep into the somatic oceans; I’m that ordinary woman-wife-mother of two who happens to ‘hang out’ Facebook style with former porn stars, erotic film producers, sex educators, yoni-massagers, lingam-worshippers, sacred intimates, tantrikas and their dearly beloveds, polyamorists, change makers, dildo designers, sexual mavericks, geeky sex researchers, horny toads, Doms and Subs and every other luscious card-carrying member of the sex-positive community. Continue reading

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Licensed to Chill | On Diversity, Skimpy Mansuits and Life in the Middle East

Perspective is about rethinking outdated paradigms, and coming to grips with life decisions that make no damn sense.”

There’s nothing like seeing a man in a droopy white Speedo walk past you on the Lido deck to make you realize that some secrets are better left kept. Revelations ala middle-aged Europeans aren’t the only memories I’ll take with me from this summer of cruising and traveling through the Mediterranean with two children, one husband and 12 pieces of luggage that keep expanding (faster than my waistline) from stop to stop. Continue reading

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Pleasure Theory and the Shamelessly Sexual

SexIs Magazine, April 2011

What if everything we’ve ever learned about our basic motivation to have sex — the procreation of the species — is unequivocally wrong? What if making babies is a byproduct of the real purpose of our couplings? What if the reason humans as a species spend more time having sex than any other creature on the planet — including our randy bonobo cousins who don’t seem to have any hang-ups about enjoying a good knoodling — is driven by something entirely different from what we’ve thus far been taught? Continue reading

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Fearless and Naked over 40 in Youth-Obsessed Culture

“Women over forty have a very clear picture of who they ARE, but a distorted idea of what they actually LOOK like.” – Jillian Todd, photographer

One of the best-kept secrets of women’s lives is that as they age sex gets better. Continue reading

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Born This Way? | Postpartum to Orgasmic Birth

“I don’t want him,” I whisper to the wall. On the bed in front of me is my first-born, swaddled in his going home clothes. We’d waited years to have a baby, and now that I am a new mother, something feels terribly wrong. Alone in my hospital room, I’m asking myself if babies really supposed to be born this way, under these conditions? Continue reading

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