My inner nerd gets off on science about our bodies and human sexuality. The provocateur in me fancies feminism, parenting conviction, healthy living, intimacy & environmentalism.
As a natural intimacy & libido specialist for women over 35, my vision is to support women to unpack their sexual baggage, heal upsets & banish fears & pain around sex. If you want to get your Heart-Centered Sexy back so all your erotic moments are sensational, naturally, I invite you to contact me today.
I get it. When it comes to intimacy, some people think that it’s all p*rn. It doesn’t help that our society is, as some phrase it, p*ornified. No matter how we frame the topic of physical intimacy, it can make some people squeamish and they run and hide.
For example, online porn is ubiquitous and has supplanted the principles of mystery, erotica and intimacy in the bedroom. This is the new reality for all of us. Just a few generations ago, porn was a totally different beast, and our sexual awakening was different for it.
I’m in my forties now, and have come to a strange realization; my generation of women is likely the last to feel that our au natural bodies and appetites are a thing of wonder, ripe with feminine erotic mystery.
Our budding sense of security and sexual confidence in what we had to offer was in part because we were relatively confident that our partners would choose warm flesh over alone time spent with the computer.
The sexualized world we live in today is not the legacy I ever imagined we’d leave for our children. Truth be told, even though I muse about sexuality on a regular basis, I’m often at a loss about how we can change things.
One side, I will call them the militant conservatives, have concluded that all forms of porn are hurtful, espouse censorship and in some cases even blame porn for what sexually ails us as individuals and a culture.
On the other hand, a radical viewpoint refuses to admit that porn can and does have dangerous consequences to the wellbeing and emotional intimacy of our couplings.
Can we dispense with arguing and just acknowledge that both sides of the debate can learn from one another?
As with most things, extreme positions polarize the discussion, and because most of us want to be polite despite the current penchant for vitriolic hate speech, we remain quiet bystanders and huge consumers of porn.
Huge consumers. Online porn is bigger than our entertainment industry in dollars and cents.
The pleasure and pain that porn delivers is here to stay, whether we approve of it or not, and that means that, at least in part, the kingpins will continue to spew out a lot of bad imagery that has effectively ‘taught’ the younger generation a lot of sexual crap.
For example, women shouldn’t have hair down there; we like it hard, fast and furious in all our orifices (and ‘prep time’ also known as foreplay is practically nonexistent); or oral pleasure is mostly for the males.
Is your porn someone else’s erotica?
This is what I think now: not all sexualized content is created equal, the more we are able and willing to talk about s*x openly, the more we can heal (and prevent more) sexual wounding.
I base this statement on my own personal and evolving understanding of the differences between erotica, porn, nakedness and nudity.
Here’s what I mean.
I believe erotica unlike porn leaves the mind stimulated but not obsessed; it arouses the senses without desecrating the soul; it may embarrass but never shame the viewer.
Watching two people make love is just different than watching a woman being banged in a staged sex scene, pretending she likes to enact someone’s fantasies with a prop or a pole or multiple grunting lovers.
What’s the difference between nude and naked? Again, the eye of the beholder and the person being seen. A favorite author defines nudity as, “as a state of intimacy and trust, free from implied or real subjugation, pretense and harm.” To be naked on the other hand, “is to be stripped of respect, personal dignity and protection from the consequences, any consequences, of being viewed, objectified and used.”
Porn and erotica are evocative and can stimulate a sexual response, making it difficult for us to separate true ecstasy from the adrenaline rush and burnout that comes from overindulgence (of anything).
However, nudity and erotica including films that show real sex that is mutually satisfying, pleasurable and transcendent can promote sexual connection. They sanctify the human body and our couplings; Pornography in its vastly current form does not.
Unless and until we get past our indignation and teach our children about the heart and heat of intimacy, porn is going to continue to give us a very raw, raunchy and distorted view of pleasure.
I know there’s another way we can address the issue of To Porn, or Not To Porn, because at the end of the day, that’s not the correct question we should be asking ourselves.
Instead, I suggest we reframe the dialogue altogether, and focus on making love, on and off the screen.
“For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.“ Naomi Wolf
Porn is here to stay. What can we do to minimize it’s harm or use it to improve our sex lives?
If you are a parent, how do you teach your children about sex, intimacy and love?
Anna Lisa asked me if I hugged trees. Yes, I do, I say while holding her close. Clinging with decorum almost because she felt as earthy and as sturdy as a tall elegant pine. Between us, hearts softened. If I were Catholic, I would call it communion.
Anna Lisa’s smile was broad in her narrow face. She spoke in the quiet words of a mystic guiding our group of 12 down in into the cellar of her home where her fourth child was being born, over and over again, for the past 23 years. (more…)
She came to me on the verge of leaving her long time relationship and love of her life. Feeling betrayed by her husband, she wasn’t sure she’d ever trust him again. It didn’t help that her family pressured her to leave him on religious grounds. By the time she reached out to me to help her sort her thoughts and make the decision of whether she should stay or go, she was heartbroken and confused.
I did for her what I wished had been done for me when I was faced with the end of my first marriage. Miserable, physically and emotionally exhausted, and afraid to make any move, at the time I remember how awful it felt to be paralized by the fear of the unknown.
First, I invited her to trust herself that she could feel the pain and actually survive the process. What were her worst fears and what would life be like without the man that she loved? Could she go it alone, pick up the pieces and start dating again? For her, this was a cosmic love and she was devastated to think it might be over.
After drying her tears and facing her fears, something else began to emerge. A tiny crack in her story about what had happened and what went wrong meant she could then begin to pick up the pieces. One by one and bit by bit she stopped trying to blame herself or her partner, and instead just became a witness to their love with a more open heart and child’s sense of wonder.
Her curiousity led to compassion, first for herself and then for her partner. She found the strength within and the space she needed to examine her self-limiting beliefs about love, sex and relationship. All it took was one conversation, and she was free.
You can be too. That’s the power of connecting to your core, your passion and your truth as you know it.
Afterwards, this woman who once again radiated utter confidence and sensuality said this to me. “You freed something up in me that was stuck. Now I’m questioning the stories I’d been taught about love instead of the my relationship. I feel like there’s an opening that I hadn’t seen before and that what we have together really is special. You resurrected my relationship!”
Months later, I learned something else. She was finally enjoying physical intimacy again after being in a sexless marriage. Not only did she revitalize her libido, she understood that this was about more than wanting to have sex with her husband. “I’m now having the best sex of my life,” she told me. In her mid-fifties, she was laughing and loving again and feeling a sense of personal freedom that she hadn’t known in years.
“Thank you,” she said. “You gave me my life back, only better.”
I don’t diss fear. It is a great teacher. And what you fear most about love and sexuality (or anything in life for that matter) is where you have opportunities for growth. Fear that isn’t dealt with can wreck havoc on love of self and love of other. It also interferes with your ability to be conscious in your ‘love – making’ decisions.
That is why I believe that the more you face your fears about love and sexuality and the more you push unnatural and harmful boundaries, the more you paradoxically have less to be afraid of. Your love experiences become more authentic, unfettered by useless social constructs, prejudices or shame.
Let’s talk about fear and sexual freedom for a moment. A lot is assumed about freedom, especially about a woman’s and even more so when it comes to her sexual experiences. What does it mean to be free, sexually speaking, and how is this different from indiscriminate sex? From the outside looking in, sexual freedom may be confused with promiscuity. What’s the difference? I believe promiscuity feeds into and manifests fears, limitations and restrictions. Sexual freedom is about courage.
Everyone has boundaries. Some of your boundaries serve healthy purposes. Some may need to be examined. It was that simple realization that helped my friend decide to ditch her self-limiting stories instead of her love.
My friend gave herself the freedom she needed so that she could have the love she desired. She could have continued allowing fear to dictate her choices, but that wasn’t how she wanted to build a loving relationship.
She also learned something priceless about how powerful she really is. Courage isn’t the absence of fear – it’s simply doing what you must despite any panic you might feel. Within her all along was the courage she needed to say YES to herself and NO to the rules about love that no longer served her or her husband.
Now it’s your turn:
What does freedom mean to you?
How can being more courageous make a difference in your love life and relationship?
What advice can you offer someone who wants to feel a greater sense freedom in love and relationship?
©2010-2013 www.TinamarieBernard.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to this original article.
You are lonely.
You are shut off.
You want to feel alive.
You’ve forgotten how.
I call this feeling ‘Skin-Hunger.’ That you are yearning for something more, deeper, better and connected (and sometimes even primal) shows up in your private conversations, the media obsessions with other people’s sex lives, and women’s ferocious reading of erotic or sexy how-to books. (more…)
“For once, I did nothing but allow him to pleasure me. On his gentle insistance, I relaxed into his embrace and let go of the mental static that usually accompanied making love.
Each time those all to familiar gremlins of fear, anxiety or self-consciousness made me tense, my lover knew exactly what to do. Lips and hands brought me back to the one magic moment.
Kisses said, your skin is warm and delicious. Eyes glowed, you are perfect the way you are. Husky voice murmured, accept this gift.
Yes, my body answered. For the first time in my life, making love felt like a prayer.”
You can. It’s a matter of earning this simple practice to turn up the heat & make your love life sizzle. The first step is remembering that making love is how adults play, express affection and connect to one another. Far too often, it becomes a chore instead. If you would like to revitalize your love and create deeper intimacy, there are practices that can help.
You may have even stumbled upon this ‘secret’ on your own and never knew it had a name or that throves of couples are practicing this simple practice. What is it and how does it work? It’s called Karezza or non-orgasmic sex, and it’s a mindfulness practice that invites you to succumb to the sensations of pleasure. Can you create deeper intimacy for two by purposefully being present to ecstasy rather than orgasm?
Your body is built for pleasure. Your mind gets in the way. It’s time to become your own Courtesan again.
How? Simply by receiving. Relax into your natural state of receptivity and allow ecstasy to flow into your awareness as your senses take over and desire is inspired…
Wait! You say that sounds dangerous, foreign and forbidden. Religion teaches us something else altogether with sins of the flesh, etc. If you want another take on how to get dogma out of your bedroom, read here. For the moment, consider that your disconnect from your body is an artificial split.
Afterall, did the divine make our bodies and the devil slap on the genitals? Did the divine give us eyes to see, ears to hear, lips to taste and hands to touch…only for the experiences we are built to have something to be feared?
“Orgasm is a private place, no matter how many people are in bed with you.”
Your problem isn’t just about belief. In an achievement-focused world, you feel the need to excel. Performance anxiety sets in and goals become the main focus. The journey within and towards experiencing the joys in the beautiful natural worlds within and around us are thwarted. Goals may matter; the journey matters more.
What should be our nature — to float gently in the pleasure of each caress, each nibble, each tactile sensation that reminds us of our somatic natures and desirability — instead feels foreign, freaky or forbidden.
The result? The pressures of the boardroom have contaminated the enchantment of the bedroom. Yes, orgasm matters…and the journey to get there matters even more to your sense of wellness, happiness and wholeness.
Physical intimacy builds stronger bonds. The problem becomes that orgasm – with all its benefits to the body, heart and soul – can often experienced as a target, rather than a delicious sensation on the continuum of making love.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it is not the transcendent experience to which we should be reaching.
That is because, in the pursuit of sexual release, we build up ‘solitary’ tension. During orgasm, you are all alone, ‘getting off.’ Yes, orgasm is a wonderful experience and when we climax, we briefly connect to our primordial, secret sensual selves. Still, orgasm is a private place, no matter how many people are in bed with you.
If orgasm comes less readily, you may judge yourself as flawed or focus and try to hard. Performance anxiety sets in. When you try so hard to cross the finish line, you miss the beautiful surroundings that beckon you to slow down, gazing into your lover’s face, and feeling the presence of something greater that reveals itself your bodies bond as one.
Marnia Robinson has written extensively on bonding. The author of Cupid’s Poison Arrow and a regular contributor to PsychologyToday.com, Robinson believes that when you engage in sex that is orgasm-focused, you initiate certain chemical reactions in your brain that diminish your sense of connection and affection in your primary relationship.
“Call it lazy, call it slow, call it Karezza…or call this way of making love creative chemistry for couples.”
Instead, she encourages a specific form of non-orgasmic sex called Karezza (first introduced at the turn of the century). Practitioners remark how much slow sex emphasizes bonding behaviors enhance intimacy. The reason goes back to how our brains respond to them.
“These generous behaviors are the way we humans fall in love,” Robinson explains, and include, “affectionate touch, grooming, soothing sounds, eye contact, and so forth.”
How do these gestures create chemistry?
“Bonding behaviors, or attachment cues, are subconscious signals that can make emotional ties surprisingly effortless,” Robinson explains, because they activate ancient neural circuitry in the brain, specifically the amygdala, a region that serves as an emotional relay center.
Nurturing touch, caring that is genuinely selfless, or holding one another in stillness after a long day, seem to calm the brain down and cascade the brain with the neurochemicals (like oxytocin) that help lovers feel relaxed and loving, she explains.
Call it lazy, call it slow, call it Karezza…or call this way of making love creative chemistry for couples. Sexual intimacy that forgoes the bumping and grinding of orgasm can bring a more relaxed passion back into your sex life. It may sound paradoxical (more than a few clients have struggled before becoming converts to the idea) and yet it really can improve your sense of pleasure and play.
Now it’s your turn to share:
Have you ever practiced ‘slow’ sex?
How did it make a difference in your love life and relationship?
What advice can you offer someone who wants to feel more bonded to their partner?
©2010-2013 www.TinamarieBernard.com; PARTIAL reposts only permitted with link back to this original article.
Years ago, I posted a playful heart-in-cheek article about the emerging post-feminist femme fatales (PFF) on a staunchly feminist website. A PFF, I wrote, was both an “accomplished woman in all political, social, environmental and economic arenas,” and an “enchantress.” Confident and graceful, funny and committed to social justice, she wore lingerie, laughed at her whim, ate her cake and shared it, too, without counting calories or flaws.
She also preferred a world in which men exist as co-creators. “A PFF fancies men – strong and capable, fresh scented or smelly, willing to ask directions or not. You are our husbands and sons, fathers and friends, lovers and muses, and life is infinitely sweeter with you by our sides.”
Such a woman wanted to be appreciated for her mind, and ability to work hard and succeed in the corporate world. “There’s no need to prove superiority, only a desire to excel,” I suggested. “We don’t want to compete with men; we are empowered and strong in our way, which is quite fierce by any standard.”
The backlash was pronounced. People were outraged and the vitriol was fierce. A few readers saw the piece as satirical or funny; most did not. Underneath the mountain of first, second and third wave feminism was a dynamite-filled mine laced with booby-traps (forgive the pun). Modern day feminists are feisty advocates for what they believe in; even if the manner by which they offer their view points – beliefs I wholeheartedly share – disengage potential allies, break funny bones or silence meaningful discourse.
I took the comments to heart, and stored the seeds of the concept away. It wasn’t so much a wound licking moment as a realization that the pendulum has yet to settle. As the saying goes: We’ve come a long way (I’ll drop the patronizing, ‘baby’). We also have a long way to go, and many are rightly indignant that when it comes to women, sex and power, the scales have yet to be balanced.
We ain’t going get there until we own our ‘Erotic Capital’.
What’s in Your Wallet?
British sociologist and former London School of Economics professor Catherine Hakim provoked heated discourse with her recent book introducing a bold and pressing look at the concept. In Erotic Capital: The Power of Attraction in the Bedroom and the Boardroom (2011), Hakim theorizes that in addition to social, cultural and economic capital, each person has a fourth asset called Erotic Capital that he or she should harness to advance within society – in fact, anyone not doing so is being unnecessarily foolish.
Described in the introduction as a ‘bold and controversial book’, Erotic Capital ‘explores the applications and significance of erotic capital, challenging the disapproval meted out to women and men who use sex appeal to get ahead in life.’
Hakim’s premise is that by harnessing the full power of your individual erotic capital – something we’ve apparently been doing despite the fact that social scientists haven’t been paying much attention to this juicy je ne sais quoi – represents “a powerful and potentially equalizing tool—one that we scorn only to our own detriment.”
“Sociologists and economists have long recognized three main types of capital: social, economic and cultural,” writes the noted NY Times best selling author and sexuality counselor, Ian Kerner. “Your capital depends on the assets and resources you can potentially use for gain, whether that means making more money or making more friends.”
By Hakim’s definition, erotic capital is more than just being sexy or having good looks. The six facets include:
2. Sexual attractiveness
3. Social skills/likeability
6. Sexual competence
“While one of these characteristics might make you gorgeous or funny or fun,” writes Kerner, “you need the whole group to maximize erotic capital. And you don’t have to be born with it – erotic capital is cultivated and learned and has a lot to do with your self-esteem.” Even if you’re blessed with oodles of the stuff, erotic capital will only serve you if you actually cash in on your assets.
Hakim’s theory is not without critics. Kerner and others point out that it is based on the assumption that women have lower libidos than men, something he takes some issue with. The number of women reporting that they want sex when their partner’s do not is on the rise, and one reason (many have been proposed) may be the massive increase in masturbation due to online porn.
“The Internet has made porn much more accessible – and the frequent masturbation it triggers may be making men too worn out for sex with a real partner…Men are masturbating 50 to 500 percent more than they would normally without Internet porn,” he says.
Sexploitation or Narcissism?
In an article for Jezebel, Anna North explores the problem of generalizing our sexual oomph in 3 Reasons Why Erotic Capital is Bullshit. “It’s notoriously difficult to determine people’s sexual desire from surveys, and all too easy to make blanket statements like ‘women make more effort to develop charm’,” North points out.
Erotic capital also depreciates and doesn’t necessarily translate into real economic power. “The bottom line is that ‘erotic capital’ is all about others’ perceptions of women, rather than about things women themselves can do or acquire. That’s the main reason ‘soft power’ isn’t real power — because when your influence is based on someone else’s desire, he’s the one who’s really in control.”
Then there’s the ugly little thing called backlash if you flaunt too much of your erotic equities. Rising celebrity doctor Lissa Rankin MD recently blogged about her venture down sensuality lane when she asked, Can We Be Both Sexy and Professional?
At issue was whether or not a woman risks too much for publicly sharing sexy pictures of herself while cultivating the spotlight of a more conservative mainstream media. Posting her imaginary conversation between her Gremlin and her Inner Pilot Light, Rankin voiced what I thought was a bold and thoughtful decision, and was heartily smacked by many commentators who called her narcissistic and self absorbed.
It turns out that erotic capital is an investment that comes with risks, some more uncomfortable than others, especially if you are a woman intent on increasing your assets. No wonder many are hesitant to restructure their portfolios. Much is still at stake in a society that views women’s sexuality as something tarnished, vulgar or dangerous, or as North points out, measured by how it is valued by others.
Naturally Sexy Beings
Here’s where my seedling starts to sprout again. I’m interested in stripping us of the view that our sexual essence and erotic power needs to be contained. It belongs to us. It serves us. It is ours. Beyond asking if we can we be both sexy and professional, and make investments in ourselves via our erotic equities is a realization that women are by nature sentient and sensual creatures.
I mean that literally. In our natural state of being – unencumbered by social constraints and stories, religious dogma or private worries, familial expectations or professional aspirations – women are erotic. We are libidinous. We are passion-filled lovers and wives, mothers and moguls, dreamers and doers waking up from a long slumber; a slumber that had us convinced our sexuality needed to be contained (to “protect” us) or was there to serve, entertain and minister to the needs of others.
I’ve come to explore and believe that a woman’s strength emanates from a primal, carnal place as much as it does from her brilliant mind and expansive heart. I’m no sociologist or hardened cultural critic with troves of research to substantiate what I have observed or learned intuitively. As a writer and an intimacy coach working with women to vitalize their libidos naturally, however, I’ve spent enough time poking around our secret erotic selves to learn that underneath our acculturated facades lurk fierce femme fatales yearning to live and love on full throttle, and not just because we want to snare a mate, secure that job or aspire to higher social standing.
Who do we serve when we cultivate and unleash our fully turned-on and tuned-in selves? Erotic capital turned outward may get us further in our daily and professional lives. Erotic capital turned inward may do something even more. Are women and the world ready for that new era in sexual power and awakening?
I’m counting on it.
Those who were raised in religious homes know too well the Gremlin of Guilt and how it plays out in the bedroom. Our reactions to sex are often rooted in dogma. Society responds as if the Puritanical umbrella needs to protect us from the stormy weather we might encounter in the messiness of carnal urges. It’s too bad our sensibilities are easily ruffled: imagine how much better sex could be if we finally erased those scarlet letters. Do away with slut-shaming. Stop substituting information about reproductive biology for real sex education. Use our outdoor voices instead of hushed whispers to discuss intimacy whenever we were in polite company.
I am stumped. When did we start calling our parts ‘junk’? In the irreverent voice of modern society, is adult potty talk masking self-hatred or just an attempt to find a cheap laugh and a decent orgasm?
Motives don’t matter in the long run, at least not to my nether region. Yoni is very vocal about her preferences, especially since her procreative duties are done and gone, and we are finding out just as good, good loving can be. She and I have have been reaquainting ever since we ditched the guilt about pleasure, and she’s really clear about a few things: erotic desires, care & maintenance, & a bit of grooming mostly.
Call her opinionated, but be careful what you call her. Hootchie-Cooter-Pussy-Va Jay Jay-Love Box-Pleasure Treasure is a lot of things, but she absolutely won’t allow you to say she’s junk.
Debris. Rubbish. Castoffs. Scraps. Not a single synonym is remotely close to describing that part of our bodies with which women have had a wide-ranging, complicated, should be only love – dangit why does shame, pain or guilt have to mess it up? – relationship.
“We’ve all been taught that people hug, kiss and make love. The more traditional focus on the commitment and marriage. Eventually, we discover fucking. The forbidden, hidden, animal side of sex that buckles our knees, heaves our lungs & breaks our hearts.”
From as far back as you can remember, you were curious. Every child is. We’re taught that our private parts, are well, private, and from some early moment we are hooked, long before hormones, certainly before anxiety sets in…
And after that snares us, a preoccupation with the forbidden fruit is guaranteed. Our parents may try to stop our forays into sexual exploration with threats of strange diseases that’ll turn us cross-eyed or mark us as irreparably naughty. Adolescence hits us, and if we are lucky we are given some information that our sexuality is about more than making babies. We’ve all been taught that people hug, kiss and make love. The more traditional focus on the commitment and marriage. Eventually, we discover fucking. The forbidden, hidden, animal side of sex that buckles our knees, heaves our lungs & breaks our hearts.
“Debris. Rubbish. Castoffs. Scraps. Not a single synonym is remotely close to describing that part of our bodies with which women have had a wide-ranging, complicated, should be only love – dangit why does shame, pain or guilt have to mess it up? – relationship.”
If we are brave enough to drown out the talk of damnation firmly engrained in our collective mind, we eventually take a good look at our curves and crevices, change our vantage if not our perspective, now viewing our body from a split mirror: sexual vs. non-sexual. Good touch vs. bad touch. Sin vs. Pleasure. Clean vs. Dirty. Smells good vs. Repugnant. Oral vs. Not.
Give Yoni an chance and she will clear the air, separate the nonsense from the truth – on so many levels including just what our divine feminine essence really is – but by then we’ve been conditioned to ignore such messages. Our vagina becomes something with which to manipulate lovers with. A snare. A burden. A liability. An object of and within our bodies and potential source of pain, fear, entrapment and shame as much as orgasm and birth.
It becomes so complicated, so nuanced, so fraught with confusion.
Let’s not even discuss the whole idea of virginity. The commoditization of our girls’ bodies goes way back. Intact hymen = worth. Anything less than intact = worthless. Pleasure, love, ecstasy and joy, the priceless gifts that Yoni is meant to share become scrapped in the face of sexual oppression.
You know what is junk? A preoccupation with all things vulvular in the absence of seeing the whole woman. The valuation and abuse of a girls’ body against her will. The wanton disregard for what turns us on. The cutting away of clitoral tissue. I could go on and on, but then, you might think I’m mad.
“That is why I won’t even ask for forgiveness when I say, there’s no fucking way I’m jumping on the junk bandwagon.”
When I’m really not angry any more. My yoni and I have made peace. She’s no longer some abstract entity, but integral to who I am. She is me. I am her. We are one and the same.
It takes courage to begin to understand the sacred and sexual truth of this portal to womankind. An erotic lifetime of rediscovery.
That is why I won’t even ask for forgiveness when I say, there’s no fucking way I’m jumping on the junk bandwagon. Call a woman lot of names, those that rhyme with rich or worse. Call us cunts, whores, madonnas and more…or finally do away with the sticks, stones and barbie doll bones. Because, no matter how the world may try to scare, snare and tear us apart, this much I know for sure: A woman and her yoni are anything but second-hand goods.
Tinamarie is a natural intimacy & libido
specialist for women over 35 who desire
Sensational Intimate Relationships.
If you are a foodie, let me invite you to sit down and enjoy appeteasers, inter-courses and happy endings. Great dishes nourish our bodies, minds and souls…and if prepared with loving intention, can fuel carnal joy. To help you create a kitchen that is a wellspring of sensual foods and nourished libidos, keep reading to learn about 5 potential aphrodisiacs that can boost your sex drive, naturally. (more…)
The way of eating that’s best for your sex life has been around for ages, and it’s easier than you think. Stocking sex-friendly foods in your pantry and preparing aphrodisiac meals for you and your beloved is just 4 steps away. (more…)